Nevada Senate candidate takes his campaign to sunny Florida

February 22, 2022 5:30 am

Adam Laxalt is a Republican running for U.S. Senate in Nevada, and this is a huge week for him. In Florida. Here’s his agenda, as best as could be compiled from various sources:

Monday. In a display of dazzling technical proficiency and enormous political clout, Laxalt successfully established an online presence and posted a “truth” on Truth Social, Donald Trump’s new social media platform. 

“Truth Social update! We are live,” Laxalt cybergushed, except on Twitter, not on Truth Social. Truth Social is still working out some bugs.

Laxalt did successfully get logged on to Trump’s site – reportedly no mean feat –  and posted a “truth.” Twitter has tweets and retweets. Truth Social has “truths” and “retruths.”

“Let’s go save our country!” Laxalt “truthed.” 

Laxalt also “retruthed” a “truth” that was posted, er, “truthed” by former Republican Congressman Devin Nunes. Perhaps best known for filing an unsuccessful lawsuit against an online cow, Nunes was plucked by Trump to lead Trump Media & Technology Group. 

Did you like Trump Steak, Trump Airlines, or Trump University? Then you’ll love Trump Media.

Tuesday. Laxalt is scheduled to visit the great man himself at the Florida palace. Perhaps you are lucky enough to accompany him on his visit to bow before and pay homage to Dear Leader? Laxalt was selling raffle tickets – only $50 each – and the trip included airfare, travel, dinner, and a photo with the once humble spokesperson for the McDonald’s Big N’ Tasty Burger and now social media platform titan.

For the fortunate winners, it would be not unlike finding the golden ticket to the Wonka factory, except instead of choreographed and thoughtful Oompa Loompas singing valuable life lessons, you get the likes of Rudy Giuliani, Nunes, and Don Jr. snarling about Crooked Hillary, the deep state, and 11,780 votes in Georgia.

Lucky raffle winners will also be treated to an audience with Florida governor and GOP heartthrob Ron DeSantis, who most Republicans secretly wish would be the party’s presidential nominee in 2024 but they can’t say that out loud or Trump will snap his short fingers and banish them into the void.

Laxalt promoted the opportunity to win this dream trip of a lifetime with all the genuine phoniness one would expect from a grown man who has made the calculated decision to hitch his career, public reputation, and personal conscience to a vile, venal crackpot who instigated and cheered on a violent insurrection against what is currently the world’s oldest continuous democracy.

And yet as of Tuesday morning no winners had been publicly announced.

Wednesday. Washing Trump’s feet.

Thursday-Saturday. The absurdity of the lies and hostility to The Other will be matched only by the variety of the grifts. That’s right, it’s that time of year again for the Conservative Political Action Conference.

CPAC is in Orlando this year. Or as Laxalt tweeted the other day, “I’m looking forward to seeing everyone in the free state of Florida!” Unlike Nevada Democratic Gov. Steve Sisolak, you see, Ron DeSantis did not have the largest corporations in his state directing him to shut down the economy at the onset of covid, and so DeSantis didn’t do that like Sisolak did — and like Laxalt would have had he been in charge. Which is to say if Laxalt was someone other than the only Republican to manage to lose a Nevada race for governor since 1994.

CPAC was once a target of bemusement, where Rush Limbaugh would awkwardly bounce up and down on stage, Sharron Angle would fail to sell her books, and participants would dutifully cap the gathering by overwhelmingly voting for Ron Paul for president in a straw poll. Now, like every event held by the American right, it’s a Trump worship service.

In his capacity as an aspiring right-wing media celebrity with a PAC that pays people like, well, Devin Nunes to speak at an annual wingnuts/lambnuts hootenanny, it is paramount that Laxalt secure a CPAC speaking spot. Not a keynote speech or any other sort of standalone formal address. He’s too small potatoes for that. But at least an appearance on a panel to a quarter-full room of people who are chatting and not really paying attention. 

This year’s panel, scheduled for Friday, is titled “Power Play,” and while additional details were not available it is safe to assume the main gist of the discussion will be to remind CPAC attendees that power is for white people. As if they need reminding.

There are four other people scheduled to be on Laxalt’s panel. The only one who is even marginally identifiable without googling is Ohio GOP Senate candidate Josh Mandel. So Laxalt is at least the second most important person on the panel. Probably.

On the CPAC agenda the Mandel/Laxalt et al panel is sandwiched directly between addresses by fellow Big Liars Matt Schlapp and Ric Grenell. That is some divinely appropriate scheduling. Laxalt was also sandwiched between Schlapp and Grenell on Nov. 5, 2020, right here in Nevada, no less, to tell television cameras that Nevada’s election was stolen and announce one of the many evidence-free lawsuits that would be summarily tossed from courts because, to reiterate, they were free of evidence.

Next week Laxalt returns to Nevada (probably), and will resume his busy schedule of  telling everyone how important he is while pretending Sam Brown, his primary opponent, doesn’t exist.

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