Nevada not good enough for Texas AG’s fancy pants lawsuit

By: - December 8, 2020 4:31 pm
Even their ungulates are assholes

Image by 1778011 from Pixabay

Even their ungulates are assholes
Image by 1778011 from Pixabay

Donald Trump’s lawyers have filed twelvety-seven or whatever lawsuits in Nevada to overturn Joe Biden’s victory here, so we must be pretty important.

But maybe not that important.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has filed a suit directly to the U.S. Supreme Court, claiming Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan and Wisconsin must have done the election wrong, otherwise Trump would be making plans for his second term instead of contemplating how to pardon himself and his children. Except Paxton words it differently.

So what’s Nevada? Chopped liver? How come we didn’t get sued too?

As usual, blame Democrats.

The Texas AG’s suit, which may well be in the trash can next to Chief Justice John Roberts’s desk by the time you read this, claims all manner of fraudulent shenanigans were perpetrated in those four states where voters, as they did in Nevada, considered the prospect of four more years of Trump doing Trump things in the White House and said Do Not Want. 

Specifically, “Using the COVID-19 pandemic as a justification,” Paxton’s suit says, “government officials in the defendant states flooded the Defendant States with millions of ballots to be sent through the mails…”

Hey, Nevada government officials did that too!

Ah, but officials in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan and Wisconsin foisted their monstrous plot to try to have a non-superspreader election “through executive fiat or friendly lawsuits.”

In Nevada, by contrast, friendly legislators passed a law (which itself prompted eleventy-nine Trump lawsuits). So that’s one reason Paxton said “Sorry Adam Laxalt, whoever you are, your state does not deserve to get sued.” 

Ok that’s not what Paxton said.

What Paxton does say in his suit is that in the four defendant states, governors and judges and elected officials in counties and towns went ahead and held a mail-in election without a state law telling them to do that. Those officials, according to the Texas AG, “usurped their legislatures’ authority.”

So now, according to Paxton, the Supreme Court of the United States should effectively order the elections in all those states null and void, and not count any of their electoral college votes as selected by voters in an act of democracy, which Republicans despise anyway. Instead, the legislatures in each of those states should be allowed to just cold ignore the election results and pick electoral college voters of their choice.

Which brings us to the other likely reason Nevada isn’t in this suit. The legislatures in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Georgia are controlled by Republicans. Paxton (and Trump, who has made out with this suit in a tweet) evidently presumes those Republican-controlled legislatures will appoint people who will cast their states’ electoral college votes for Trump, just like the founders and Jesus intended.

The Nevada Legislature, by contrast, is controlled by Democrats, who would select people loyal to famous radical left socialist Joe Biden.

So, dang. Nevada could have maybe almost been in the national spotlight again, just as it almost was for 15 minutes that one time when Clark County was still counting mailed-in ballots and Joe Gloria was America’s Sweetheart. 

But no. 

Oh well, the national press still mentions Nevada sometimes in its daily roundups of the latest half-baked Trump suits to get tossed from court. Maybe we’ll garner some peripheral mention, for some reason, when Roberts quietly declines to give a stage to Paxton’s vaudeville act. So watch for that.

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Hugh Jackson
Hugh Jackson

Hugh Jackson was editor of the Las Vegas Business Press, senior editor at the Las Vegas CityLife weekly newspaper, daily political commentator on the Las Vegas NBC affiliate, and author of the Las Vegas Gleaner political blog. Prior to moving to Las Vegas, he was a reporter and editor at the Casper (Wyoming) Star-Tribune.